Loss & Grief
Sometimes in life, there are no words.
Loss is one of those times.
When we lose someone we love, there is little that can comfort us.
It may feel as though the whole world has stopped or, worse, our whole world has stopped. The pain is just so much to bear.
Grief is the normal reaction to the loss of someone we love. It looks different for everyone because each person will have their own unique response to grief.
Some people don't know how to grieve.
Some people don't have the space to grieve.
Some people can't stop grieving.
Therapy provides a space for your grief.
Although some people worry that grieving will mean forever losing the person they love, the truth is that doing the work of grieving can help you find meaningful ways to keep the person alive inside of you. Of course, this can never replace the loss of your loved one, but it can help you to find ways to go on living, while still keeping your loved one close to your heart.
If you are finding yourself stuck in the grieving process or needing help mourning the loss of someone you love, I would be glad to support you through this most difficult time in your life.
Frequently asked questions
1. Do we only grieve when someone has died?
No, we can grieve friendships, relationships, things, a job - anything that is significant to us.
2. What are Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief?
Kubler-Ross described the five stages of grief as being: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Notably, not everyone will go through all of these stages and they may not occur in order either. We can't be too prescriptive about grief. Each person needs to go through his or her own process. How we grieve is influenced by many factors, including early experiences of loss, how we make sense of loss, and the quality of the relationship before the loss.
3. Why is grieving so hard?
We tend to invest a lot of ourselves when we care about someone or something. When so much of who we are has become entangled with another person or thing, it can be extremely painful to imagine life without that person or thing. Having to figure out how to be ourselves in the absence of the person or thing we loved can then feel very overwhelming. Coming to terms with the loss is often a long and gradual process.
4. How can I help a grieving friend?
Just be there for your friend. Allow your friend to talk as much as he or she needs. Listen carefully and try not to worry about saying things to make your friend feel better. Sometimes acknowledging that there is nothing that you can say to make it better can offer the most comfort. Show your friend that you love and care for him or her, and be available to offer practical help. Try to be patient and allow your friend as much time as he or she needs to grieve. Grief is a process and we need to feel allowed to grieve as this is a key step in the process of learning to live with loss. However, if you are concerned that your friend's grief could pose a risk to your friend or other people around your friend, I recommend that you consult with a doctor or therapist to see if additional support is necessary.