Counselling for relationship/ marriage problems
A thriving relationship requires two thriving people, but the passing of time and the daily stress of life can take a toll on individuals and the relationship between them...
Most couples will face a breakdown of communication or a loss of intimacy at some point during their relationship.
What matters is whether you and your partner can repair your relationship and manage to rediscover yourselves and one another.
Therapy can offer a space for you to:
-
Rediscover and reconnect with yourself
-
Rediscover and reconnect with what you want from your relationship
-
Rediscover and reconnect with your partner
-
Explore how you and your partner can improve communication and understanding in your relationship
-
Explore what you and your partner need to do to work towards repairing and strengthening your relationship
-
Find ways to protect your relationship from stressful life events (e.g. work pressure, a new baby).
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
Rumi
Common Questions about Counselling for Relationship Problems
1. Do you work with individuals or with couples?
I specialise in working with individuals who are experiencing problems in their relationships.
I am very passionate about this work and helping clients gain insight into who they are, their needs, how they communicate these needs and get them met/ struggle to get them met within their relationships. Sometimes, this means helping clients work through difficult early childhood experiences or previous relationships which may be consciously or unconsciously interfering in their relationship. At other times, it means exploring ways in which clients can support their partners who may be struggling as a result of difficult early childhood experiences or problems with previous relationships. Most of the time, it means working on enhancing the client's self-awareness and communication skills, as well as finding ways to create space within the relationship for both partners to feel heard and understood.
2. How do I know if I should choose individual counselling or couples counselling for relationship problems?
There are a few situations in which individual counselling may be preferable over couples counselling:
a. When you have a lack of clarity within yourself about your relationship and what you want for the relationship. In this situation, individual counselling can offer you your own space to explore your personal feelings about your relationship and what you need or want going forward.
b. When you want to work on your relationship but your partner refuses to attend couples counselling. In this situation, individual counselling can offer you a space to voice your feelings, make sense of what is happening in your relationship, and possibly explore ways in which you are willing to try to work on your relationship, even if your partner is unwilling at the moment.
c. When you realise that your problems in your relationship may be linked to your own early childhood experiences or problems in previous relationships, these issues need to be worked through to minimise their effect on your current relationship. In this situation, attending individual therapy is a way for you to take care of your mental health and your relationship.
d. When you are already in couples counselling and you have come to realise that your issues from your past are interfering in your relationship. In this situation, individual counselling can help you work through personal issues that may feel too vulnerable or private for you to work through in a couples therapy session. Having your own therapeutic space will also allow you to explore these issues in more depth, without taking space away from couples therapy.
Sometimes it can be hard to know whether individual counselling, couples counselling, or a combination of both is needed. Discussing your particular circumstances with a therapist to get some guidance can be helpful. You are welcome to contact me if you are trying to decide between individual or couples counselling. In situations where I feel that couples counselling would be more appropriate, I will gladly provide a referral to a colleague whose work I know and trust.
3. Do you work with issues related to sex and intimacy?
Yes. I work with both men and women who are experiencing problems related to sex and intimacy within their relationship. Although sex and intimacy offer a way for couples to embrace and connect, it doesn't always promote connection, as it can also be a source of stress and pressure, creating disconnection.
Being intimate and having sex is easiest when a person feels connected to their partner, comfortable in their own body, as well as safe and open to being both vulnerable and powerful, receptive and active. A healthy sexual relationship requires self-awareness from both partners, as well as the ability to talk about each other's desires and needs openly. Given that so many factors play a part in the ability to have sex and be intimate, it is easy to understand why couples may face difficulties with this part of their relationship.
If you are struggling with issues related to sex and intimacy in your relationship, counselling can offer a space for you to make sense of what is happening and find ways to work on the intimacy and connection within your relationship.
